Both the joy and curse of an expat is encountering and experiencing things foreign. Whether it is food, street signs, mannerisms or cultural expectations, these encounters are all around you every day. In these early days, I have found all the difference as exhausting as it is exhilarating. There are times when all I want is something familiar, and here in Hong Kong, at least, a culture catering to western expectations is available – expensive, but available.  I started thinking about this entry as a humorous account of all the odd signs and creative uses of English words we have seen here in Hong Kong.  But a glass of wine and a really kind waiter made me think twice. First, let me acknowledge that I am fluent in only one language, and therefore have no business criticizing anyone for misappropriating a few words.  During our stay in Hong Kong, most of those we have communicated with have, at the very least, a rudimentary understanding of English – which far surpasses my understanding of Cantonese or Mandarin, spoken or written. I also mustn’t fail to point out how lucky we feel that many signs are provided in English so that we have a chance to read them and be puzzled or tickled or both.

Nearly everyday we walk by a relatively mundane clothing store inexplicably named “Stage of Playlord” across from another (womens!) clothing store called “Wanko.”  Or there’s the sign we came across where a pink cartoon character holding a bubble (spit?) wand imploring “Please Wrap Spittle.”

My favorite, though, are the signs on the mid-levels “travelator/escalator” where amidst detailed instructions about holding handrails, not loitering, and not obstructing entry/exit points, you find “Do not wail against the flow.” It is important enough to be number 4 on the list of instructions, before “Pets must be carried” and “Do not activate the emergency switch except in an emergency.” 

Even though it’s a completely foreign use of English, I get it.  It is important here to go with the group, obey the rules, follow the arrows – even though in many ways Hong Kong and its people “wail against the flow” of mainland China.

Wailing against the flow as an expat can make for a miserable experience.  Ultimately, it is impossible to live an American lifestyle outside of America. The space is different, the culture is different, different principles are valued.  I do think that with equal parts determination and money, we could approximate our old lifestyle.  But in doing that, we’d be missing the best parts of this experience. We’d be frustrated by the dearth of solid antiperspirant for purchase, confounded by the never-on-the-hour (American!) TV shows, or annoyed by the lack of breakfast spots –  instead of appreciating the quirky signs, the surprising number of Mexican restaurants, or the generous use of English.  So although I still have my moments, I am trying hard not to wail against the flow of the expat experience.

Plum Blossom

Hang up some lettuce and wait for the Lion – it’s Chinese New Year! Yesterday was the first day of Chinese New Year. Here in Hong Kong, that means lots of Lei See packets, red decorations incorporating carp, dragons and chinese symbols I can’t read (but probably mean good fortune and good luck), fireworks, a parade, and special performances in the malls, schools and hotels.
Chinese New Year, or the Lunar New Year, is a big family holiday here and in China. We have been told it is comparable to Thanksgiving, as families travel to be together and celebrate the potential of the upcoming year. 2012 marks a particularly good year, because it is the year of the Dragon. Those born in the year of the Dragon are particularly blessed, and are believed to be destined for success, power and prosperity. It’s a good time to move to Hong Kong!

In everyday terms, it means the kids have a week off school and Tommy has three full days off. Some local businesses are closed for the holidays, buy many stores serving westerners remain open. Many expats use this week to travel, but we are happy to stay put and enjoy the break. Our temporary apartment hotel/complex hosted a dragon/lion dance Monday morning, and we have enjoyed numerous live musical performances down in the mall. There is traditionally a huge night parade with lighted floats, but we elected to skip the crowds and watch a replay of the Pats/Raven playoff game. We did visit the flower market in Victoria Park, one of the famous CNY attractions here in Hong Kong, but we all felt overwhelmed by the incredible crush of people.  We did enjoy the displays of flowers (briefly), and the oddity of kids “fishing” for goldfish with plastic cups in a kiddie pool as a type of carnival game.   It reminded me a bit of a state fair, but with more directions (which everyone seemed to be ignoring) about how and where you were supposed to walk. We lasted about 10 minutes, then lost each other in the crowds while exiting.  A bunch of texts later, we found each other and a cab. We were relieved to finally get back to our hotel.

Tuesday, the second day of the holiday, will bring a huge fireworks display over Victoria Harbor.  Fireworks and firecrackers play prominently in CNY celebrations and decorations, as traditionally they scare away the evil spirits so the new year will have a positive, auspicious beginning. Other symbols that are new to us include the carp, said to bring good fortune, lettuce hung over a door to bring a lion (which eats the lettuce and scares away evil) and mini mandarin orange trees, which symbolize good fortune.  The boys have enjoyed handing out Lei See packets, which are red envelopes with a small amount of money in them  – usually two bills of some sort, to indicate double happiness and good luck.  Many of the decorations here include the mini-mandarin trees and plum tree branches decorated with red and gold.

It seems that you can get nearly everywhere in Hong Kong walking through covered walkways, malls, and underground walks which connect you with the MTR (Hong Kong’s subway). Hong Kong Park is no exception. Our apartment sits atop a mall, and through that mall and a series of stairs and escalators, you can make your way to one of the entrances to Hong Kong Park. Like many parks here, this is not a park for running around, but one for strolling and reflecting. There is a playground, billed for kids up to age 12, but Luke quickly grew bored with the small-scale equipment, and Jed and Ty were just too big, really, to enjoy it. What wasn’t boring were the ponds, which were populated with large carp and many terrapins (turtles), the aviary, with its multitude of colorful birds and bridges ala the Swiss Family Robinson, and the lookout tower, with its winding stairs and rewarding view.

The boys particularly liked the Aviary, where we saw Crested Pigeons, Cockatoos, Myna Birds, and Parakeets. All were big and loud. I got buzzed a few too many times to truly appreciate the experience, but I will admit that seeing all the odd birds and hearing their calls made me feel like we were truly in a foreign place.

Something I did appreciate that perhaps the boys did not was the number of brides getting their photographs taken in the park. There is a Marriage Registry in Hong Kong Park, and apparently it is very popular to have pictures taken in the park. We ahve seen a a number of brides, and I always delight in checking out their finery – usually western, but occasionally a red evening gown or two. Our relo guide told us back in November that many couples have pictures taken before their actual wedding and then the albums are displayed for guests to enjoy at the reception. Although I almost snapped some pics of a few brides, ultimately it felt too intrusive.

I think we have been lucky to be here when it’s not full summer – right now all these covered walkways seem like a crazy way to get around, but if it’s true that most locals consider this weather “cold” (as the parkas, furs, and boots confirm), then those covered walkways are going to be really useful when the sun finally comes out!

The boys started school today. I am so proud of them!  They have done such an amazing job adapting to their new circumstances!  I am also particularly impressed with how they have handled the disappointment of the closed-for-annual-maintenance pool at our temporary apartment. The week flew by with the help of a playdate, a movie, homemade chocolate chip cookies from one of Tommy’s work colleagues, and a slew of new beyblades handed-down by our buddy family at the new school. The boys have expressed nervousness at starting, but they approached it all with a positive, can-do attitude that is a joy to behold.

This morning, the boys got up, dressed in their uniforms, tolerated a few pictures, then headed down to the lobby. We have not been able to get the bus sorted yet, so we took a cab to school, where the head of the primary school met us and walked us up to the boys’ new classrooms. There are 10 new kids starting today across k-12, so the boys were in good company.  Each of my boys found their hook, hung up their backpacks outside their classrooms and and walked in with a smile. Well done boys!

One of the most important parts of settling in to a new place is figuring out how to eat at home – where to find groceries, how to shop for them, how to get them home – especially without a car. One of the things I miss whenever I have been abroad is the ability to load all my purchases in a car and drive them home. You start thinking really seriously about what you really need (and when you need it) when you have to carry everything back to the apartment. In London, I had the stroller – with Luke as a counterbalance, I’d sling bags on the handles of the stroller, load up the basket (and sometimes balance things on the hood) then trudge back home, fingers crossed that we wouldn’t lose a wheel on the way.

So, top on my list here? Grocery delivery. Although the kids would happily eat peanut butter and bagels for three meals a day, I needed dishwasher soap, lunch fixings and fresh veggies. There are lots of grocery shops here, some even catering to Americans. http://www.hongkonghustle.com/shopping/230/hong-kong-supermarket-grocery-store/  I find there are more american products available here than there were in London (Partridges, I still love you). Of course, you pay a premium, so I wanted to find a grocery shop more local than gourmet. I had relative success at Park N Shop’s online store.

When the delivery arrived, I was surprised to find the groceries I had ordered that morning packed up in boxes. I was impressed by the re-use of the boxes, but found it incredibly odd that everything was taped up. Even the plastic bag was secured with a zip tie.

I was happy with what I got. We enjoyed comparing the bag of rice with the tiny loaves of bread, marveled at the ubiquitous presence of Pepperidge Farm, and delighted in the Mr. Muscle cleaning spray.  We did get a couple of squishy packages of “japanese style” ramen (not what I expected) and some s’more flavored goldfish (blech), but most everything else was as expected.

All in all, not bad. And I didn’t have to carry anything.

The night before our flight out of San Francisco, Luke threw up. It sent me into a tailspin- was it the massive candy purchase I had encouraged that afternoon? The excitement of a cousin sleepover and our impending flight? The rapid screen motion of National Treasure 2? Was he going to be carsick on every cab or bus ride like he was in London? Fortunately (?), it turned out to be the stomach flu. This was proved by several other toss ups on the ride to the airport. Luke then passed the baton to Ty, who began vomiting just after take off – and then throughout the 14 hour flight.
While a transpacific flight with two stomach sick kids sounds like a nightmare, it really wasn’t that bad. Luke entered a meditative state watching subtitled movies, and Ty calmly vomited into a series of ziploc bags that we had the foresight to buy on the way to the airport. The bright side of the stomach flu? Neither kid noticed that we forgot to request in-flight kids meals 24 hours in advance, which meant there was no food the kids considered edible. Jed may have noticed, but was content to spend 13 hours plowing through a bag of candy from the Sugar Shack and mastering some sort of tank/submarine game. When we deplaned, Jed was able to help with his brothers’ bags, which meant we could move through immigration and customs with relative speed.
Thankfully, everyone feels better now. Our temporary apartment sits atop a mall, so we have access to whatever we need as long as we are willing to pay skyhigh prices (painful, but I chalk it up to the cost of moving). We have Jif, Cornflakes and bagels. I have begun my hate hate relationship with the all-in-one washer-dryer, and we have a playdate set up for this afternoon. We have a view of the harbor. I wouldn’t say we are settled yet, but we’re getting there.

The hardest part of this move has been leaving our friends, our family and our community. We have been lucky to have many nice farewells, and it’s given me the chance to reflect on what goes into a “good” goodbye.

It is heart wrenching to see my boys upset about leaving their classmates, neighbors, and cousins. However, we have billed this move as an adventure – and it is! I am so grateful for the many ways the boys’ teachers and classmates gave them a send off that recognized both the hard part (leaving) and the fun part (new adventures).  For us, the good goodbye was equal parts farewell, good luck, and keep in touch. It was each boy hearing affirmations about the person they have become from their friends, it was Tommy and me receiving recognition and thanks for work done, it was neighbors and relatives going out of their way to send us all on our way with a smile, a wave, a hug.

The other ingredient in a good goodbye? It’s not permanent – we get to return over the summer! We are all looking forward to seeing our friends and family again soon.